Essay for
June 2003

Crucial Moments

Crucial moments always occur in your life, some are devastating while others release waves of anxiety and dread. They can sneak into your life, you being totally unaware; or they can be observed building up to an explosive climax or an implosive darkly controlled negation. Those that are building, you may or may not attempt to short circuit or defuse. Others, no matter how desperately you try to avoid, still keep coming. Crucial moments in your life will always keep coming at you, sometimes when you least expect it; and infrequently one after the other in rapid succession.

How you deal with these crucial moments in your existence points directly at what you reference for your existence. If you have never made an attempt to contemplate or investigate your existence you are relatively unprotected, and the dark clouds those moments create descend and engulf you. If you have well established personal preservation constructs you can use them as a shield to hide behind. If you have embedded beliefs, they can be used to deflect the majority of any impending doom.

If you cannot prevent that which is knowingly coming, and your constructs and beliefs — used as a shield to preserve you— are no longer sufficient or found wanting when the moment is upon you, then what? Those moments do occur, and when you are on your own with no one around to support you, your being can feel savagely exposed and crippling vulnerable to those dark clouds of anxiety, fear and dread. You have entered the world of the 4D's: distress, despair, despondency and depression, and usually in that order.

You may feel that your constructs or beliefs will always protect you, but they do not. There will be times, when so much is happening around you, that your constructs and beliefs appear to go into overload, and break down. It can get so bad that the constructs or beliefs are scrapped, simply because they did not provide the required sanctuary when needed the most. Others can turn upon that which provided the failed security with savage venom.

Can you envisage a time when your constructs and beliefs are suspended due to doubt, and you are left unprotected? Or at some crucial moment in your existence your construct and belief armor is of no avail, because sometime in your life it normally occurs. At that moment distress enters with despair following hot on its heels. Despondency is already knocking on the door and depression is the dark prison in waiting. When depression is upon you everywhere you turn is filled with darkness and melancholy, with no apparent way out. Medication now enters to neutralize or nullify the pain, but the medication can also destroy the very thing required to heal. When or if, all your protective agencies fail, medication appears to be the only solution, but there is another way. Medication, although temporarily supportive, contains the potential to destroy the ability to use the other way effectively: your own consciousness construction.

Those crucial moments in your life can occur for endless reasons. Some can be due to you alone; others can be totally or partially due to someone else, whilst still others apparently have no discernible discoverable reason. There is always a reason. Specialized groups make a good living out of attempting to discover that reason for you; help you repair your protective armor, or support the creation of a new set of armor. It is similar to painting a house and calling it new. But it is still just the same house with a new coat of paint, eventually requiring repainting or extensive renovating. When that occurs the cycle repeats again and again with such monotonous regularity that it feels normal. It is not normal only a form of disempowerment. But to appreciate disempowerment you have to know what is disempowered, or what is it that controls or loses control. It is here where those specialized groups rely upon mental process work to empower, support and encourage the individual to regain control and direction. But it only stands strong when the individual remains in control. When the control is gone or out of his/her control, the recycling easily begins again. This in no way discredits those working in that field of expertise or diminishes their efforts, for at the present moment in our evolutionary history it is important, even though it is also self-limiting.

It is here that you enter the wild and woolly world of spirit process work as versus mental process work. Spirit process work — working with your own consciousness construction — if carried out with determination and tenacity will create a permanent base for mental process work: the practice of the various fields of psychology. Mental process work has no permanent base to operate from, and so deals with the transitory effects of living your life in a world of constant change. Spirit process work unveils the integral components of consciousness, revealing the constant nature of consciousness, providing a permanent base to evaluate those constantly changing elements assaulting you daily.

Without an intellectual and then experiential knowledge of how your consciousness is formed and functions, the constantly changing environment around you will perpetually challenge your adopted or created constructs and beliefs. Some you win others you lose, but it is always a struggle. The struggle is construct wars, or one half a duality facing off to the other half of a duality, and everything in existence functions within one duality or its opposing duality. The resolution of dualities is one major aspect of spirit process work, for if not resolved they continue creating opposing forces that effect your relationships, family, work and environment. And they create the foundation for all your anxiety, pain and suffering. They are not necessary the primary cause, they just lay the foundation for the primary cause to use that foundation to create a position within your consciousness that controls you. What controls is the primary cause, and that controlling illusive chameleon is what spirit process work ferrets out and exposes as that which creates the cancer within your consciousness. It is that illusion which causes all the anxiety, pain and suffering.

To not know the components of your consciousness construction can cause you to be endlessly thrown, twisted and possibly crushed by the winds of constant change. To intellectually know the components of your consciousness and how they function leads directly into an experiential knowing and seeing, that can far exceed any of your expectations. For it leads directly into the discovery of the essence of Presence: the original spirit gravity circuit and pattern of creation. This is the 'spirit of existence', and to be enfolded within that spirit gravity circuit creates a connection that can never be nullified or denied. It is not a construct or belief, it is direct experiential knowing. This is the value of spirit process work, as you no longer feel any sense of isolation or separation that may have at one time burdened you existence.

When those crucial moments occur in your life they have little to no impact. Now you know with a certainty from where they arise, as what they arise from is an illusion that you believed was real. You empower the illusion with reality, allowing it to control your life. This illusion will perpetually take you down the pathway of the 4D's, as that empowers itself with more control, which of course makes you feel out of control. It is a recycling game that you cannot win, no matter how hard you try. The trying is the shadow of the chameleon in a new disguise, which is the deceit, as it supports the deception that the illusion is real.

Spirit process work is ultimately an absolute necessity; even though you may now believe it can wait until your ready. The world is full of new, better and best and you have yet to taste them all. There is always new, better and best. When you have gained your desire, another desire is just around the corner to replace the original one. It simply never ends. When your final moments on this earth plane of existence are upon you, your last and final desire is the continuation of existence. The good news is that consciousness is indestructible. This may sound contradictory but it is not, consciousness is indeed indestructible. But it requires effort to eternalize it.

It is another one of those delightful paradoxes that may only make sense when you know the how and why of your consciousness construction. It really is worth the effort, if only to experientially know what you may now hold as a construct or belief. The experiential knowing becomes a permanent connection that can never be severed, removing all forms of anxiety and fear. It is another delightful paradox, as the knowing gives you no armor or protection, but you are protected because of the knowing.

RETURN TO TOP OF PAGE