Essay for
April 2005

Defining Your Existence

How do you define your existence? This is the most important question you will ever have to explore. Yet so few actually do, or they define existence by characteristics, 'I am this or I am that' but that is not existence, those are just additions to existence. Others will say 'I am' and then stop there, as if that is sufficient, even though they may not know exactly what that 'I am' is. Others will expand that statement; a famous philosopher once stated, 'I think therefore I am' rebutted by yet another as 'I am therefore I think'. In most cases the 'I am' is left unexplained. It just is and that is the end of that.

Existence appears to elude a clear and defining definition. Various religions and philosophers have certainly given it a go, ending in a set of philosophic theories or religious ideologies. Both materialistic and non-materialistic philosophers and religious theorists have two common problems when attempting to define existence: an existence beginning and a direction for that existence. From this point onwards, there are a plethora of theories, religious dogma and doctrine, beliefs, constructs and experiential revelation.

There is an abundance of information on existence. Good portions of the population use that information to define themselves in relation to one of the many beliefs, constructs and theories on existence. They accept what has been given and it simply ends there. Those who do not, or cannot, follow any of those processes are fairly much left to their own devices, normally distilled down to 'who am I'.

Dissecting 'who am I' leads into two directions. One direction unfolds the unchanging nature of consciousness, which never alters as you can always both see and know internally (self-awareness) and externally (awareness). Consciousness can both see and know what is seen and known, and yet it never moves. The other direction, which contains the activity of all your mind functions of intellect, memory, imagination and intuition, is in constant motion. They rise and fall upon demand. Consciousness never moves whilst the mind is in constant motion. When the mind is not moving consciousness remains as it always is, seeing and knowing as knowingly observant, which is both internal awareness and self-awareness. Consciousness is the canvas upon which the mind, with its palette of colors, creates a picture that you take as who you are. The picture can be constantly altered, but the canvas perpetually remains the same.

Defining your existence then comes down to a choice. Do you take what is alterable or unalterable as who you are? The obvious choice being what is unalterable, consciousness. However, it is not necessary to ignore your mind functions within that choice. Consciousness can be referred to as your true existent, unalterable personality. Whilst your mind functions create character for that personality, although what they produce does not affect consciousness. The original question is then reduced to, what is consciousness, or what is awareness?

Witnessing a bird in flight is the action of consciousness. Knowing what that bird is, or commenting upon it, is the action of mind. Pure witnessing is the action of awareness, which is using your natural and innate knowingly observant ability. You do not try to use that ability; it simply functions of its own accord. When you are having a dream the same witnessing occurs, as you can see and know the dream, but you cannot access your mind functions to control it.

Consciousness or awareness is your self-existent and innate ability to see and know. Knowing what you see and know is the action of a mind function. How you see and know in a dream is identical to how you see and know when awake. Both states of being use the canvas of consciousness to display the activity of both your waking and dreaming states. Defining existence is therefore distilled down to what is the canvas made of'? How does it accept any picture you create, rejecting nothing, and what is its substance?

The substance of consciousness cannot be held on to; it is formless, colorless, genderless, non-moving and timeless. It is not possible to define that absolute un-restiction using restrictive language, or to describe it in negative terms such as not this or not that. However, it is possible to define consciousness by how it is: awareness as knowingly observant, which has two parts, seeing and knowing.

The two parts make up one whole and neither part can exist separate from the other. Although one part may appear dominate at particular moments, the other part is always there. They are separately united as one and that one contains the definition of your existence. How you see and know in your interior world, allows you to see and know in the exterior world.

This has been referred to as using your 'minds eye', but your 'minds eye' is a misnomer. No internal eye exists. It is a deceptive phrase allowing you to skip over one of the most important aspects of consciousness, without understanding how it actually works. How it works points directly at how consciousness is formed, and how it functions. At the same time consider the question 'how can consciousness hear'? In your dreams awareness has no ear and yet you appear to hear. If you plough into this adventurous field of discovery you will uncover a most amazing thing. Consciousness does not really hear, it sees your hearing, or hearing is actually seeing. If you use your intuition and not your intellect, you may instinctually feel the correctness of that statement. In addition, a logical intellectual process comes to the same result.

Hearing is seeing and seeing is being, pointing directly at how consciousness functions. Understanding that functioning goes way beyond what can be given in this short article. The intent was to demonstrate that consciousness and your mind functions, although appearing to operate as one, are in fact from two different sources. If you are an internal adventurer, this information is simply pointing at a pathway to begin your journey. There are more articles and information on my website that may be supportive of your inward journey.

Sometime in your life you will be faced with making a decision, requiring you to define your existence. Normally the constant demands for survival captures your attention, holding it within endless and ongoing daily dramas, traumas and struggles. Somewhere within the melee of ceaseless activity, the thought 'what am I doing' will arise. It is at that moment where your held beliefs and constructs may fail to provide the necessary safety and security to remove the fear or anxiety you may be facing. The reason for this, even if those beliefs and constructs are valid, is that you may not have gained a real and honest experiential knowledge of them. By living within the superficially of acceptance, without experiential knowing, you have allowed your mind functions to dominate consciousness. The domination will always, without fail, entrapment you within a duality that you can never escape, hence the anxiety or fear no matter where you turn.

Defining your existence is experiencing the reality of your non-ageing and non-alterable consciousness, your true personality. The created character for that personality develops from mind created pathways, potentially leading you into absolute freedom, or straight into a prison of your own making. Such is the joy of existence.

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